In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful
Rhythms and routines are such a key part of life, especially with having children. Not only are they tools to keep everything running smoothly but also, they are great opportunities for lots of learning to take place. Through creating little routines, we build new habits into our day. Also, especially for children, we teach them how to incorporate the morals and values of our home into our lives.
As we know, Islam is our way of life. It is in our heart, in our mind, and in our actions. Islam is sprinkled throughout all the things we do in our day. I think that daily routines, such as morning and bedtime routines, are a great time to incorporate little things into our lives and the life of our children – that slowly but surely instill a strong sense of identity filled with faith and a knowing and loving of God.
Having a bedtime routine in place makes things a lot more peaceful – for you and your child. Not only does everyone involved know exactly when it’s bedtime, they know what to expect through the entire process. There will be favorite parts, there will be laughs, there will be a beautiful part of the day’s end that everyone involved can look forward to. It won’t always be great and sometimes there will still be tantrums and tears…but it will be a whole lot better almost every time.
We’re going to go through our bedtime routine for our three year old toddler. There are 10 tiny steps, which might sound like a lot but – they’re tiny and it’s not something we started doing all at once. This is something we’ve been gradually building up since our son was a newborn. All together, this routine generally takes us about a half hour.
So before we jump into those ten tiny steps of our toddlers bedtime routine, I have three helpful points to consider when you’re thinking about creating a bedtime routine for your toddler:
a. You have to be consistent.
It’s not much of a routine if there’s no consistency about it. You want to be as consistent as possible with the timing, the actions and the actual process. As you build this consistent routine, your child has this lovely anchor to look forward to at the end of each of their days.
b. This is a great time to incorporate some simple sunnahs into your child’s life.
There are a number of things from the sunnah associated with bedtime and now is a great time to start adding in some of those and making them an everyday part of bedtime culture in your home.
c. Start small and build up.
You don’t want to overwhelm yourself or your child. You want to choose maybe two or three tasks that you know you can stick with and set that up as a foundation. You can always add on things later. But ultimately, you want to start off small and ordinary.
So let’s go ahead and jump into our bedtime routine:
1. Put all the toys away.
We start our routine after dinner. We go on a ‘toy hunt’ and gather up any toys, books, kiddo items and put them where they belong. Sometimes it’s mostly him doing the work, sometimes it’s mostly me but basically, we work together. We respect ourselves and our things and so we replace them where they belong to take care of them and take care of our space.
2. Use the potty and put a pull-up on.
Potty-training is something we’re really focusing on this year and now our toddler is pretty much day-time potty-trained but he still wears a pull-up at night and on long drives. Part of what we’re doing is focusing on some of the ‘easy-catches’ such as before we leave, before bed and when he wakes up. He gets his pull-up on after going potty.
3. Brush teeth.
I brush first, he brushes next. We’re still working on helping him learn to spit but either way, his toothpaste is fluoride-free so it’s safe for him. You want to get those little teeth clean…but also make time to teach your little one how to do it on their own.
4. Affirmations in the mirror.
After teeth are clean, we stand up at the bathroom mirror and say affirmations. It’s different every night and now that we’ve built a little repertoire of affirmations that we feel good using, a lot of times I help get started and let him take the lead. We say things like I am loved, I am courageous, I am generous and I am creative.
5. Put pajamas on.
He grabs the pajamas that he wants from his shelf. Sometimes he chooses his footy pjs but lately he’s been gravitating more towards pants and shirts.
6. Read one hadith.
Right now, we’re reading from the Shama’il. The idea here is to build familiarity, a sense of curiosity, and a love of learning. We’re not focused on learning, memorization or anything of that nature. One hadith a night is our goal but we approach it very intuitively and it’s really a favorite part of our routine. You could also read one verse of Qur’an or any other collection of hadith.
7. Read one or two bedtime books.
Our bedtime reading is one of our favorite parts of the entire day. Sometimes we read one book, sometimes it’s more like 3 or 4. I’ve shared over 60 books that we’ve loved over the past year and all of them have been a part of our bedtime books. This is another great opportunity to give your toddler a chance to take the lead and have some autonomy – choosing the book they’d like to read each night…or even taking turns with it.
8. Say bedtime du’a.
We started off doing bedtime du’a since the very beginning – of course, my husband or I saying the du’a to him/with him/for him when he was a baby. As he got older and able to speak, we would do word-by-word with him copying after. Now he knows the entire du’a and can say it by himself… although some nights he says the birds took his words and I simply say it with him or for him.
9. Recite 3 Quls.
This is another one of those simple sunnahs that go with bedtime. Same as with the du’a, this is something we started with our toddler from his baby days. We’re still doing the reciting at this point but it’s building familiarity. He also recites Surah Ikhlaas along with us and he really feels proud of himself.
10. Hugs, kisses and tucked in tight.
We get hugs and kisses to both mom and dad and he gets tucked in tight. Of course, as soon as he’s comfy and covered from chin to toe, he decides he needs water… so he gets a drink of water, gets tucked back in and then eventually falls asleep.
That is our bedtime routine. Listed out like this, I can imagine it seems like a lot but it works for us. It doesn’t take that long and everything goes together pretty seamlessly. I love that we are able to incorporate self-care, reading, and a couple of sunnahs…and no matter how our day has gone, I feel pretty good about how our day ends most of the time.
I hope that you have found some benefit and maybe you’ve found some ideas for your bedtime routine. Maybe you’re just getting started trying to add more of a routine into your life with your toddler, which bedtime is a great place to start or maybe, you’re looking for ideas on how to incorporate more sunnahs into your child’s life or instilling an Islamic identity into your little one’s life – either way, I hope this has been helpful.
Question for the comments: does your toddler have a bedtime routine? What’s your favorite part?
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