In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful
Today is another homeschooling post! My son will turn 3 in January and to my surprise, people are already starting to ask when he will be going to school and if he’ll be starting this year/next year. We plan on homeschooling and I have no intention of my son “doing school” for a couple more years. I briefly spoke about my intention to delay formal academics when I wrote about my 10 reasons we plan on homeschooling.
It’s becoming more and more normal these days for children to be doing worksheets and such at 3 and 4 years old. Now, as a disclaimer, if that’s what works for you and your child, that’s awesome. In this post and on this blog, I’m just sharing what I’m exploring and what’s working for myself and my family. There’s also some research coming up about the benefits of delaying starting school by a year or two.
Still, there’s a lot of back and forth. Sometimes the choices we make for our family rubs someone else the wrong way. Sometimes that makes us a bit uncomfortable. This post is for when your confidence is wavering. Those moments where you’re wondering if you’re doing enough for/with your child. This post is for you, if you’re leaning into your role as your child’s first teacher.
If you need to find balance between schooling and delaying. If you’re feeling very inclined to wait a little longer and have a more relaxed approach but you’re also very nervous about your child “falling behind”. Or perhaps you need some ideas of what to say when people ask you and you want to give them an answer without sharing too much and without sounding rude. This post is for you! Before jumping into that list of 10 things to focus on when you’re deciding to delay academics for your child, I have two quick reminders:
REMINDER #1: You are in charge of your child’s education!
When we choose to homeschool, we take on the responsibility for our child’s education. We are in charge of their learning. That puts the weight on our shoulders to make sure we are providing an environment that our children can flourish in, experience the love of learning and simply learn in. We have to make sure to provide materials and experiences. There’s a lot of planning, preparing, doing, recouping. But on the flipside, you get to make the choices – you have the ability to pick and choose the methods and tools, the schedule, the plans. You don’t have to place your child, yourself, your home school into any single box and stick to that. You can choose this and that and piece whatever works for you together to make it work for your family.
Reminder #2: Every child learns at their own pace. Allow space for that.
Another important reminder is that every child will learn at their own pace. Almost regardless of our effort. Giving our children the space and time to come into learning at a pace that might not fit into the current education system, allows them to gain soft skills such as increased focus, endurance, self-confidence, etc and the life experience that will definitely give them an advantage when they sit down to read, write and do math. Delaying formal academics by only a few years helps to prevent burnout for you and your child. It can prevent much unnecessary power struggles, disappointment and frustration. Overall, as I’m exploring this concept, there are many benefits to delaying academics – not only for your child but for your family overall.
Nonetheless, it can be a struggle to stay confident in your choice. And to that, I have a final reminder, delaying academics is NOT about delaying learning! Here are 10 things to focus on when you need some reassurance that you’ve made the right choice and you’re doing right by your child and your family regardless of when you introduce structured learning.
1. Focus on play.
Playing is the LIFE of learning for a young child. You guys probably know I’m quite passionate about play… and that’s because it’s crucial for nourishing our little one’s! Children learn so many different skills and concepts through playing, they develop a deeper knowledge of themselves and it’s such a natural and enjoyable part of their life.
2. Focus on reading.
Reading to your child is an absolute necessity! Read everything – picture books, chapter books, street signs, maps, all of it. There are so many benefits to reading to our children, from opening up their minds, expanding their vocabulary and also simply inviting them into the world of all that a great book can offer.
3. Focus on exploring your world.
We learn more than we realize from our environment. Go to the library, go hiking, biking, and walk around your neighborhood. Watching people. Feeling dirt, sand, gravel. Listening to all the various sounds. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy but mix it up occasionally, visit new places. Deepen your knowledge and awareness of the world around you.
4. Focus on art.
Art encourages exploration, expression and experimentation. All of these things are key factors in learning and loving to learn. Whether it’s drawing with crayons, painting or playing with stickers. Try different forms of art. There’s also whittling, working with yarn or baking. There is art for everyone.
5. Focus on questions.
If you’ve spent time with a toddler, you’ll be very familiar with their copious amount of “WHY’S”. Lean into those questions. Provide answers when you are able but also… Figure out the topics that your little one is interested in and provide opportunities for them to dig deeper. Also, don’t be afraid to ask your fair share of questions!
6. Focus on life skills.
We always see posts on social media about “what’s not taught in schools” – the gist of it are those basic but essential life skills. It’s never too early to start teaching your child skills that allow them to be more independent and to experience more of their life. And it’s as simple as just including them in everyday life.
7. Focus on character building.
As a family of faith, we know the importance of character building. Focusing on good character is a key factor in most families’ choice to homeschool. There is never too early to start modeling, discussing and teaching various character traits that we want our children to embody and focus on.
8. Focus on connecting with nature.
Connecting with nature is powerful, it’s healing and very informative. Going on a hike, biking, visiting a waterfall, making mud pies. Not only do you get fresh air, getting outdoors provides an excellent opportunity to get familiar with our Creator, get familiar with ourselves, work on motor skills, explore with all of our senses and more. It’s amazing for our brain, our body and our heart.
9. Focus on being rather than doing.
What I mean here is focus on creating a vision with/for your family and figure out what routines, rituals and rhythms you need to put in place to start moving toward that. Finding your truths, your boundaries, your goals…and how that looks for your family. These couple years between being a toddler and starting “sit-down academics” is a perfect opportunity for getting things in place to set yourself and your family up for success in the long term and also, more specifically, a smoother transition when you do begin formal work.
10. Focus on learning your child.
Even without doing “book work”, your child is doing plenty of learning especially if you’re focusing on at least some of the things mentioned in this post. During this time, before getting into formal learning, this is a great time for you to get to know how your child learns, their strengths and weaknesses, their interests, etc. Taking time to really focus into these things allows you to use them to provide an exceptional experience for your child as they continue on their learning journey and start incorporating some more structured learning.
Writing this post was soothing to my heart and I hope that it provides some comfort and encouragement for you as well. Even if you only focus on a few of these focal points, I’m sure there will be much benefit to your child. Finally, I just want to remind you that you know your child best and therefore are equipped to make the best decision for them – lean into that. Trust your mama intuition. Lean into the discomfort that will surely come. Learning is a journey – from cradle to the grave. It looks so many different ways and there are no one-size-fits-all.
Question for the comments: Are you thinking about delaying academics? What does that mean for you and what’s your biggest concern?
Question for the comments: Are you thinking about delaying academics? What does that mean for you and what’s your biggest concern?
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