In the name of Allah, the most Loving, the Wise
It’s been a minute since we’ve talked about anything birth related…not to mention we’re right around the corner from my “2 year birthing anniversary”, so I figured I’d hop on here and share 14 things I would have loved to know before my c-section.
Here’s the thing, if you’ve read about my birth-story, you’ll know that I was planning on having a completely natural vaginal birth. I had my birth plan all typed and several copies printed out so that my nurse, my midwife and my husband could have a copy. Well, as you’ll have also read, my son was born via an emergency c-section and everything about my birth plan went flying out the window.
I had very minimal working knowledge of how a c-section worked from some reading and research while I was completing my doula training but aside from that, especially because I was so focused on having a natural birth, it really, really caught me off guard. He was my first baby so there we’re so many new experiences regardless but the cesarean definitely threw in a whole added element of newness and adjustments.
It’s important as you read this, that you keep in mind that no to stories are going to be 100% alike. Not only between two separate individuals but even just subsequent births. So these things that I share, I hope they are helpful and provide some comfort and encouragement but don’t worry if your experience has been different.
1. Not all c-sections are planned out.
The thing about this is, I knew this…somewhere in the back of my mind. The majority of the c-sections I’ve actually heard about though, have either been planned or at least semi-planned. In hindsight, I realize that it could have been if I spent a little bit of time researching options regarding cesarean births.
2. There are more ways than one to have a c-section.
Again, this would require some research but there are actually some ways to make your c-section, even in some emergency cases, a little more gentle and baby-led. It’s always nice to know your options because with knowledge comes power. You are able to then advocate for yourself and your birth.
3. Even though you are numb to the pain from surgery, you can still feel the pushing and prodding and the pressure of everything.
Because of the anesthetics, you don’t feel the pain of being cut open and all that goes on to allow your baby to come out during a cesarean birth but you do feel some pressure. You feel a lot of the pushing and prodding that’s going on to move your insides around and help your baby come out. This feels quite strange, as I’m sure you can imagine!!
4. It’s pretty common to experience grief and shame surrounding your c-section.
Especially when it goes against your planned birthing experience. Let yourself feel those feelings, even if they might be uncomfortable. Allow yourself to process your experience. This is also part of your healing journey.
5. The bathroom might seem like a scary place for the first bit!
There are so many factors that go into this! Between being numbed from the waist down, having had a catheter in place for the duration of the surgery plus at least a couple more hours, and the after-effects of having major surgery..your body, inside and outside, has some major adjustments to allow. There might be some anxiety and/or pain in getting to the toilet, getting on and off the toilet and relieving yourself. It’s a whole process. Give yourself some grace and don’t be ashamed to ask for some help.
6. Healing fully can take more than a year.
Healing from a cesarean birth is multifaceted and can take a while to heal completely.. First your incision will need to heal and that can take a couple months in itself – that’s just the very first step. Beyond your wound healing, you have to rebuild your core and your pelvic floor. You also have to take time to process your emotions. As with any birthing experience, it is crucial that you take a proactive approach to your healing.
7. You have to work on your scar tissue.
Our scar is not a set it and forget it ordeal. We have to massage and work through the layers of scar tissue so that they are moving, there’s good circulation and we can make sure that there aren’t any adhesion forming. Working through your scar tissue is really a huge part of healing. It seems to be becoming more common but it’s definitely not talked about enough.
8. Physical therapy can be an incredible (and even necessary) part of your healing.
Physical therapy can be helpful in recuperating from any birth but especially so when you’ve had a c-section and layers of your muscles have been cut open. You will have help and guidance in rebuilding your core and your pelvic floor. You will gain stability, strength and even self-confidence and trust in your body.
9. You have to be proactive about making sure your incision site does not get infected.
Again, your incision area is not a set it and forget it kind of thing. You have to check on it regularly, especially in the first few months. It is entirely possible to become infected, externally or internally. You have to keep watch for redness, puffiness or swelling. You should reach out to your doctor if you notice anything like that or if you feel pain or unbearable discomfort. Thankfully I never had anything too serious but I did have a few times where I had to give my scar area a little bit of extra love and care.
10. It’s normal to feel a little uneasy or even scared within your body throughout the recovery process.
Everyone’s experience is so different but for me, I knew that it was semi-irrational but I still had this anxiety about my incision coming open if I wasn’t super careful. I felt very uneasy and scared about what I could safely do versus what would be detrimental to my healing journey. It really wasn’t until I had gone through physical therapy that I regained some confidence in my body’s strength and abilities.
11. You have to be proactive about your pain.
As the anesthesia wears off, the feeling starts coming back – as one could imagine after having a major surgery, there’s a lot of aches and pains. Pain medicine is an option. There are also some more natural options for taking care of pain. Whatever the route you choose, stay on top of it. Don’t wait until you’re actually suffering to start trying to manage your pain.
12. Start moving slowly and steadily.
Especially the first week or so, movement of any kind can be the farthest thing from your mind! As soon as you are able to move without pain, you should start adding moments of movement throughout your day. Even just a 5 or 10 minute walk is a great start. Moving allows circulation, it improves your mood…it’s all over good for your health and well-being. If you’re feeling pain, listen to your body.. stop and try again in a few days.
13. Take everything slowly.
If I could rewind time and redesign my postpartum time, one of the biggest changes I would make is to just slow down and focus on healing. Focus on bonding time with our little family. There are expectations and pressures! Dad does have to be cared for too! Life does have to go on! But in those first few weeks, you really have to prioritize yourself and your baby.
14. Your birth is still your birth.
Cesarean birth is still a birth. You are just as much a mom as you’d be if you gave birth vaginally. A life still came from your body. You still did hard work. You are not a failure! Of course, in my mind I knew this, you know this…but sometimes in the moment, it’s not what you’re feeling. Every now and again, I still have to remind myself this!
Are any of these sticking out to you? Can you relate? I’m sure there are some more to add but I’ll stop here and I’d love to hear from you!
Question for the comments: What would you have liked to know before your birthing experience?
As always, thank you for stopping by ‘Nourishing Our Home’. Please be sure to pop in every Thursday for new posts. Also, if you found this to be relatable and beneficial, please help me out by sharing with your family and friends.