7 Ways to Manage Temptations as A Muslim Family

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful

It is no secret that this world is a test and it’s full of temptations… We all have moments where we will be tested in what we know to be true and correct. We will be tested in our character. It’s practically impossible to avoid temptations…but we can manage them and that’s what we’ll be talking about today. Another way to think about managing temptations is guarding our hearts. We must get familiar with the gates to our heart…and make sure we are being mindful of each.

There are many things within our physical vicinity and even more so with the ever-expanding media presented before us. Often times when we think about temptations, it’s the big things that come to mind – drugs, sex outside of marriage, tattoos etc. But the smaller things can be even more sneaky and all the more prevalent. As a Muslim family, this is something that we are required to think about so that we are able to be proactive in our approach.

One thing that I think is very important is that we approach this with a whole-family mindset – it’s not just about protecting our children from the bad stuff, we have to guard our own hearts and bodies as well.. It’s also important that we approach this from a love and connection frame of mind rather than from a place of shame and guilt. So let’s jump into these 7 tips you can use to manage temptations as a Muslim family.

1. Get really clear on your beliefs, morals and core values.

We don’t inherit our faith, our morals, our values… All of these things can and will be influenced of course…but it’s incredibly important that we make time to get clear about what we believe. And figure out what your core values and morals are. We want to prioritize running things through the lens of permissible or not…but we need to get beyond that at some point. The majority of our choices should not only be permissible but also good and pure. In order to get to that point and be able to manage temptations, you have to develop an intimate knowledge and relationship with yourself and your Lord.

2. Set your foundation straight.

As Muslims, we have a certain level of knowledge that is required of us…so checking in to make sure we are actually caught up on that is a great place to start. It is so important for you and your family to have a firm foundation of knowledge and understanding that you can always fall back on. It is never too late or too early to get your foundation situated. You want to make sure that you are choosing a trustworthy source for your learning…and to the best of your ability, you want to learn from a teacher – not just reading from books on your own. Furthermore, as a Muslim family, we should be in a state of continuous learning.. There are always things we don’t know that will provide value for us to learn. It’s not purely religious knowledge…anything that expands our mind and brings us closer to Allah can be beneficial.

3. Be firm in your ‘why’.

This is multi-layered. There’s the surface level of making sure you have that solid foundation within your faith and education. We can obviously fall back on ‘’Allah said so…’’, ‘’prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said so..’’ and it’s important to have that be sufficient…but it can be very helpful to understand the reasoning behind something – especially if it’s an area of struggle. There’s also the relational layer…where we are intentionally building our relationship with Allah. We want to be acting from a place of God-consciousness, we want to love Allah, and we want to have an active and open connection with Him. When we always have this firm, authentic reasoning to fall back on in those moments where we may feel tempted by something, it will make those temptations much more manageable. 

4. Be prepared to have tough conversations.

Managing temptations as a Muslim family requires a level of open communication. We have to be willing to have tough conversations. Tough conversations…as in the topics we need to be talking about early and often but also, we have to be willing to have conversations that might make us or our family uncomfortable. There will be times where we’ll need to be firm and assertive and our family might not be on-board. Or there might be times where we’ll be on the reverse end of that. We have to be okay with hearing things and discussing things way beyond the surface. Creating an atmosphere where your children can come to you and ask their questions, share their feelings, tell you their conflicts – creating that kind of atmosphere as a family for your family is crucial in managing temptations.

5. Understand that certain things…are just not for us.

As people of faith, we have to really acknowledge that there are certain things that are simply not for us. It might seem like everyone is doing it – even some Muslims. But we don’t make our decisions based on other people…but rather what Allah and His messenger has said about it. No matter how popular a thing might be, that doesn’t make it right…or right for you and your family. We’re talking about people, places, media consumption, activities, causes – all of it. You want to be balanced and not make things difficult but we have to make sure we’re living intentionally and truly putting our faith forward. There are moments where you might feel like you’re overreacting or being overprotective…it is up to you to sit in that space and have a dialogue between yourself and Allah to figure that out.

6. Use your tools.

As Muslims, we are taught that this world is a test and that we will face temptations…and Allah does not leave us hanging. He gives us lots of tools to guard against temptations. Knowledge and being God-conscious are powerful. We also have wudhu, we have fasting and a variety of prayers available to us. When we’re talking about tools, we’re also thinking about keeping good company, eating wholesome foods and things of that nature. Managing temptations needs to be approached in a holistic way – from the things we eat to the things we read, the people we spend time with and the activities we choose. We have to be intentional in building up our tool kit and make sure we’re not waiting until we’re in the thick of it to try and figure something out.

7. Focus on the good stuff.

What we choose to focus on, we choose to magnify. If we’re constantly thinking of the things we can’t or shouldn’t do, the things we’re ‘missing out on’, etc…it can be very easy to lose your focus and give into temptations. First of all, I think it’s important that we are actively acknowledging that all the things we are obligated to do or forbidden from are a means of honoring us and a means of protecting us. So although it’s quite common to get a feeling of missing out or struggling sometimes, the reality is that we’re not missing out at all. Diving deeper into this however, especially for our children but even for ourselves, it is important to notice all the good, beautiful and permissible things that are available to us.

It is not easy to manage temptations. We know that Shaitan made a promise to work against us and try to distract us and get us to get off path. So we have to be proactive and make that effort in guarding our hearts, guarding the hearts of our children and guarding our home. It’s simple but certainly not easy. We can do it… as we support one another and rely on Allah.

Question for the comments: What are some ways you are being proactive about managing temptations in your home?

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