We begin in the name of God, the most Loving, the most Wise,
Being a mom of a boy, to circumcise or not to circumcise is a discussion that you’ll need to have – even if just with your spouse and your child’s doctor. It can be a tough thing to talk about, especially the past few years as there has been quite a movement being built against it. There’s a lot of fear-mongering going around as well.
As a Muslim, I know that circumcision is obligatory for males and therefore I knew that we would be circumcising our son. Because we already made that decision, I was careful with the information that I consumed and I made sure to choose wisely who I spoke to about this topic. When I say I was careful about the research I did and conversations I had, I 100% wanted to know how the procedure took place, all the options we had, care and management and all of that. I didn’t want to make myself afraid about it. We know that what Allah tells us is the best thing for us and so I didn’t want to cause myself to worry unnecessarily.
I intend to have every son of ours circumcised God-willing, because it is what He asks of us. Yes, I know this may seem a bit dramatic but one thing that helped me is thinking about the story of prophet Ibrahim, may peace be upon him and his family. I thought of how God asked him to sacrifice his son Isma’il, whom he loved so much. How Ibrahim was willing to do that because God asked it of him – despite not knowing exactly why, despite not knowing any benefit would come of it and despite knowing that it would be painful to him, his son, and his family. He did it because he knew that Allah knows best and he trusted in Him.
As you may know, Allah sent an animal to be sacrificed in place of Isma’il and he went on to live his life and became a prophet in his adulthood. This story however, the interaction between Ibrahim and his son, peace be upon them both and how they were willing to put their feelings aside to obey Allah – those feelings that I imagine both of them must have been managing makes me feel like that story is quite relatable with regards to circumcising our baby boys.
Those feelings of worry and even sadness, the nagging of what-if’s that come up the more you look into it – it puts you in a difficult place. Even though I was 100% committed to getting our son circumcised, it was still tough! I was a little afraid and a bit sad for my baby boy to be having this surgical procedure done so soon in his life. I cried the first time I changed his diaper, I cringed probably every time for the first week and it was difficult knowing that he was probably feeling a bit of pain despite our best effort to keep everything well cared for.
Ultimately though this is one of many of the tough decisions we’ll have to make as parents to help ourselves, our children and our family live a life in accordance with what God wants from us. Sometimes we have to make hard decisions but we have to know that Allah knows what’s best and He’d never ask us to do something that’s too much for us to do, so we have to trust in Him.
Our son’s circumcision was delayed because we didn’t get the vitamin K shot at the hospital. We had to wait about 8 weeks and we wound up having to drive almost 2 hours away to get the procedure done. Though it was a bit of a dreadful wait, the time also gave us the ability to look into our options as to when the best time was, who are the best qualified urologists in our area and some different options we had for caring for our little guy after the procedure.
All of this to say, yes, as a Muslim we must get our sons circumcised. We have to be strong and not let these movements and scary stories deter us away from it. People may be finding that there’s little medical benefit in it but even if the only benefit was that of obeying God with this beautiful gift He has given us, is quite tremendous. Finally, despite the necessity of having it done and the ease of just getting it done right in the hospital immediately after birth, that doesn’t mean that is the best time to get it done. You should certainly do your research and weigh your options. Plan ahead and God-willing, things will go smoothly.
Question for the comments: What has been the hardest decision you’ve had to make for your child and what helped you get through that process?
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