We begin in the name of God, the most Loving, the most Wise,
Mamas, body image is a tough topic! I feel like being a Mother makes it that much harder – because it’s no longer just about us but also going through pregnancy, labor and birth adds so many shifts to our body, our mind, our emotional state, and our overall self. We’re dealing with insecurities and stuff already as the majority of women do throughout our lives, then our belly stretches, we might get stretch marks, our hair does some crazy things, our breasts change, our hips change, nutrients are being taken from our body on a constant basis (although hopefully we’re replenishing ourselves on a regular basis) – basically, our body is changing in a way that it has never changed before.
Everyone’s exact experience is going to be different but regardless, your body has changed in a way that it will never experience outside of pregnancy and giving birth. Then after the fact, we and those around us sometimes have these expectations that we should just bounce back. Even though we just provided a home, a growing space, the life support for a whole human life for almost a year, that our bodies have somehow become less than and because that process is “over” now, we should be right back to how things were before.
These expectations cause a lot of us to look in the mirror and feel all kinds of painful emotions about the way we look to ourselves. How many times have we looked in the mirror and felt that we don’t measure up? How many times do we look in the mirror with discontent and unhappiness? How many times do we look in the mirror and say things to ourselves about our body and appearance that we would never say to our sister or a friend?
All of these things are DIFFICULT to be open and honest about. It’s ROUGH to work through all the stuff that comes up about our body image. Add to that being a mom. Now we have a little one looking up to us. We now have a little one learning about our bodies from us. We now have a little one developing a relationship with their bodies based on what they see modeled from us.
I know this sounds a little sad but even though I would have been so excited to have a daughter, I was a little relieved when we found out our first baby would be a boy. In my mind that meant I would have at least another 2 or 3 years to work on developing my own healthy body image because I made up my mind a few years prior that I did not want my children, especially for the sake of my daughters, to have an example of self-hate, disgust or shame of the body we were blessed with and I knew I had quite a bit of work left.
Let’s be fair, it does require a lot of effort to have a positive relationship with our body image in today’s society. We are constantly fed images and ideas that we have to look a certain way in order to be considered beautiful. It’s completely find to want to feel beautiful, to be confident. The problems come in when we are letting these impossible standards basically set us up for failure. None of us, unless we also use the things these people are using (photoshop, surgeries, etc), will look like a model that has been photoshopped on the front of a magazine or an actress who has had surgeries or at least has been all dolled up to the point where she looks like a whole different person. We cannot compare our natural body to a photoshopped image..or to someone who has completely modified her appearance with a ton of makeup, shapewear, hair extensions, even surgeries.
This message isn’t about us loving every single inch of our body. I’m not trying to tell you that you shouldn’t be allowed to have “trouble areas.” I, like most people, have things about my appearance that I’m working on. My message today is about changing the attitude we show up with, the words we choose and how we treat ourselves and allow ourselves to be treated by others. My message is about our relationship with our bodies and how that either empowers our life or disempowers us.
It is up to us to own our bodies, flaws and all. It is up to us to love our bodies. It is up to us to make sure the messages we are receiving, from ourselves and others, are messages that build us up. We want to be moving forward, not staying stagnant. If we think about where we want to be, most of the time we know the changes we need to make. We know that in order to love ourselves, we have to show ourselves more love. We know this in our head but for some reason, there’s often a disconnect. So today, I’m leaving you with 3 simple but difficult reminders and tasks to help you (and me) move toward a healthier body image:
1. Look in the mirror and choose one thing that you love about yourself – about your physical body, your appearance. Speak it aloud to yourself. Write it down so you can read it later. YES, it is important to focus on our good character, our manners and all that jazz but, let’s be real – we care about our looks too! We want to look good and there’s nothing wrong with that. Start with one thing; speak it, write it, read it…and let it grow from there.
2. Find a form of movement that brings you joy and do that at least most days of the week. Exercising is not only good for your physical body, it’s also great for your mental and emotional well-being. It’s important your mindset as well – exercise from a place of love, not hate. Exercise because it’s good for your body, not because you dislike your body. Walking, dancing, cycling, skating, anything that moves your body is a great option.
3. Make sure that at least 80% of the food and drink you are putting into your body is nourishing and healthy for you. That means, make sure that 80% of what you’re consuming is whole food. It’s important that we eat food that we enjoy but that should not translate into us eating a bunch of junk food, sweets and what-not. There are so many options available that are super healthy AND super delicious! We have to be willing to experiment and put in a bit of effort. On the same token though, it’s okay to have something that we want every now and again that may not be the healthiest thing for us. It’s okay to indulge a craving or two occasionally.
Let’s make 2020 the year we start to find peace in our bodies rather than stress. Let us treat our bodies like our home – keeping it clean from the inside out, making it radiate joy, feeling nourished and happy. Let’s make sure that we have a healthy and positive body image. That way, we are able to share this with our children who look to us to find an example of the relationship they should have with their own bodies.
Question for the comments: Which of these 3 things do you think will be easiest for you?
Thank you for stopping by ‘Nourishing Our Home’. Please be sure to pop in every Monday and Thursday for new posts. Also, if you found this to be relatable and beneficial, please help me out by sharing with your family and friends.